The Point Is to Stop

The best way to judge the usefulness of self-help advice is by how many people eventually leave it behind. It’s time to stop.

 
This is a Mindf*ck Monthly newsletter from December 13, 2021. Every month, I send out big ideas I’ve been chewing on and stuff I’ve enjoyed reading that month in the hopes that it makes you less of a shitty person.

Let’s dive right in.

Years ago, I wrote an article that claimed the best way to judge the usefulness of self-help advice is by how many people eventually leave it behind. In it, I boldly claimed that if self-help advice actually worked, the industry would quickly go out of business. After all, if the advice delivered on its promises, then you wouldn’t feel the need to constantly read another book or attend another seminar.

Predictably, a lot of people hated that article. People nitpicked it to death. I eventually took the piece down because I don’t think my arguments were fully formed and my points were delivered about as delicately as a sledge hammer in a china shop. But I still believe I’m right. And I’d like to take another stab at it today.

Over the years, I have found that people who seek out self-help do so with two very different mindsets. The first group treats self-help like going to the doctor. Let’s call these the “Doctor People.” Maybe their marriage failed or they had an existential crisis or they’re struggling to deal with some sort of trauma. They’ve got this pain or confusion in their life and they want to solve it so they can move on and feel normal and healthy again. Much like a doctor eases your physical ails, they look to a book or website or seminar to cure their emotional ails. Their mindset is very much, “I paid you, now fix it!”

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 Πηγή: markmanson.net