The toxicity of deep insecurity
Nothing destroys more relationships, teams or companies than insecure people in power, Jim VandeHei writes.
- Why it matters: Beneath all bad motives, bad behavior and bad people — at work and in life — lurks deep and dangerous insecurity.
It’s an insidious form of cancer that spreads effortlessly — and quickly.
- A little insecurity is normal and healthy. It grounds and motivates us. I’m talking about insecurity so deep it shapes a person’s character and decision-making.
So many of the lessons I have learned the hard way came from watching profoundly insecure people do the wrong thing for the wrong reason.
- I wish this werea happy column about how not to be insecure. Take that up with your therapist — or parents.
This is more about how to spot it — and flee:
- If your boss or colleagues are routinely focused on themselves, they have issues. If they do it persistently, they’re unfixable.
- Smallness. Confident people don’t do petty things, like talk smack about others or stir the pot. Insecure people marinate in that crap to shift focus away from their shortcomings.
- People who whine or wish ill on others are like the flu in an unventilated room. Their negativity is destined to spread and sap the energy of those around them.
- One telltale sign of the profoundly insecure is that they attract other insecure people — and repel confident, positive people. Don’t let yourself get sucked into their misery.
- Good people aren’t asses. Insecure people often are. We all have bad days. But if someone seems like a bad person consistently, it’s because they are one.
The big picture: I wasted years of my life believing I could change insecure people. You can’t. The best thing to do is … run.
Πηγή: axios.com
