Just ask

We way underestimate how much the simplest text or call means to friends, family members and colleagues.

Why it matters: Casually and quickly checking in with the people in our lives is one of the easiest — but highest-impact — things we can do.

• That’s according to a new studyin the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, “The Surprise of Reaching Out.”

Researchers asked study participants to check in with others in small ways (a text, a brief call, a short email), then directed both sides of the interaction to rate how meaningful it was.

• Those who reached out routinely underestimated how much their small act meant to the recipient.
• Researchers found that the impact of the message increased with how surprising the check-in was. People we haven’t spoken to in a while or with whom we aren’t as close are even more grateful to hear from us.

Our thought bubble: Long life experience shows us it’s impossible to be too attentive to friends, relatives or coworkers — to check in too often.

• You think you know someone, then they make some radical life decision — and you realize you didn’t know them as well as you thought you did.
• Even with people you truly know, life happens fast. Life-changing health news, work change, family rupture — any of those could happen the minute you put the phone down.

Zoom out: All that was true even before COVID. But back then, you’d see people at work or church, and you’d get a sense of their mood and how they were doing.

• Now, in many cases, you have zeroidea how someone actually is, even if you’re Zooming with them. You have to ask.

Action item: That makes the proactive, intentional check-in more vital than ever. A transactional text or Zoom doesn’t work.

• You have to ask: How are you? What’s going on? What can I do? What are you struggling with? What’s the best thing that happened to you lately?

If you’re looking for a way to spice up your check-in: “[H]andwritten letters offer a sense of tactility and permanence, especially now that texts and Instagram posts are quickly buried under newer ones,” Daniel Taub writes for Bloomberg Businessweek.

• Putting pen to paper instantly sets you apart — whether you’re thanking a job interviewer, courting someone new or wishing mom a happy birthday. Try it!

 
Πηγή: axios.com